Portland Trail Blazers Franchise Summed Up In A Poem

Once upon a time, the Blazers weren’t nice

They won plenty of games, but at what price?

On a nightly basis, they’d win, not fail

But just as frequently end up in jail


There was J.R. and Damon, and Kemp the once-hopper

And Sabas and Ruben, the Kobe-Stopper!

Don’t forget Sheed, and Scottie too

And ya boi Dale Davis…young fans ask, “Who?”


When the bad boys left, Bonzi included

Paul Allen cleaned shop, and then he alluded:

“This team will be great, but we’ll focus on pleasant

From here on forward, we’ll be effervescent


We’re bubbly and kind, and of course good to all

Oh wait, we should focus on basketball?

You mean Theo, Martell and Jarrett Jack…

Are constantly beat and never fight back?”


So then came a move that would really embolden

A town to feel good, ‘cause it drafted Greg Oden

With Roy and LaMarcus already on board

The ‘Ships on horizon, Rip City roared


Portland had changed, mixed elite and nice

Except one problem, knees paid the price

Oden and Roy, the curse you can’t fault ‘em

Blame it on Petrie or Bowie or Walton


Then came a lull, 2009

Scratch that, fast forward, move on, #LillardTime

Dame D.O.L.L.A., he had, four nice starters

But so it would be, they all were departers


LaMarcus and Robin, and Nic and Wes

They all were gone, but for the best

‘Cause now it’s become The Lillard Show

With CJ and Crabbe and Leonard..oh…



We’ve hit a point, once again you see,

History repeats, are we too nice to be…

Contenders really, when it matters the most?

Always haunted by Rip City’s ghost


What It All Means

The NBA trade deadline is nearing, and the Trail Blazers have plenty to figure out. The problem is that Rip Citizens regularly fall in love with their players, both unconditionally and illogically.

The current-day Blazers are one of the easiest groups in the Association to root for. Lillard is a superstar who markets himself as well as anyone; McCollum focuses on enhancing his community as much as his game; and this team takes a volunteered trip to San Diego every offseason to train and bond.

This is not your grandfather’s NBA squad—it’s your grandmother’s, even before you realize that Lillard’s mom and McCollum’s mom have become best friends since their small-ball, four-year sons joined forces in the quiet Pacific Northwest.

But Portland needs to get defensive. It must figure out how to utilize Evan Turner and put all curses and negative history behind it. As far as we are into the year, there’s no more making excuses for this group.

All that said, there will be those outside the Bay Area (and outside Portland) rooting for the Blazers if Portland somehow faces the Warriors in the second round of the playoffs again. There are also those who consider Leonard the good guy in DeMarcus Cousins’ #MouthguardGate drama, and many who would root for the demise of the Clippers in an LA-Rip City postseason faceoff.

This isn’t a squad dealing with controversy in the locker room or outside the arena. But then again, the above-listed scenarios are only relevant if the Blazers make the playoffs and prove that nice guys don’t always finish last.

About Bryant Knox 111 Articles
Bryant was drafted to Oregon Sports News in 2011 as a fresh-faced, fervorous fan ready to take NBA media by storm. So many years later, the face may be a tad less fresh, but the fervor hasn’t faded. In addition to being an OSN Writer, Bryant holds the role of Bleacher Report’s NBA Editor. By representing both sites, Bryant has accomplished something not even LeBron James could do in his historic career: He figured out how to play for the two best teams in the game at the exact same time. You go, Bryant 💪. And go, Blazers 🌹