Objectively speaking, my life has proven a living hell. I’ve suffered from serious medical conditions over the last decade that have affected every part of my physical being. Most days, I struggle to walk, fight constant seizures, and the nightly cold sweats have become routine. I’ve managed to maintain hope because some of my symptoms are fading away. The circular rashes on my heart are disappearing, as well as the mysterious lumps on my feet. Last week, I hit a low, missing work two days in a row, and my submission on this site. My usual positive mindset had deteriorated into the why me mantras. The unusual thing is, this is likely the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Here’s part three of a story that I hope ends here.
Part 1
Seven years ago, I was living a low-vibrational lifestyle. Even though I wouldn’t have admitted it, at the time, everything I did was for me. Whether it was coaching basketball, working my day job, or anything else, I put my needs first.
It’s not like I was a bad person, but my priorities were in disarray. I had lost friends, my family relationships weren’t the same, and I was living in a fake sense of unwarranted confidence. I was like a team in a championship game that shouldn’t be there.
It took ten years of bad decision-making to get to that point. Like many others, my soul was crushed once high school sports ended. I couldn’t understand why I was a benchwarmer when I was better than a player ahead of me in the rotation.
This was also the point in my life when I decided I needed to make a change. The health conditions prompted these notions, but I knew I had to be different.
Ten years of just kicking it at the bar had left me at home with my Dad at the age of 28. I had molded myself into the stereotype of the hometown guy who never left home.
Luckily, in my final college class, a professor asked me what I wanted to do with my life. He didn’t ask what my major indicated I should do, what my parents thought, or what was logical to me. What he was really asking was what would make my heart happy. I knew immediately that I must coach basketball.
This is when things started to change.
Part 2
Over the last seven years, my life has gotten worse and better simultaneously. I work with special ed kids at my old high school, have put aside some nasty habits, and even coached a few successful basketball seasons.
Things have slowly righted themselves in the physical realm, but something was always off.
I was doing high-value things while simultaneously living a rigid life. My life felt stagnant. I was trying so hard to make up for lost time that I forgot about living life. It was always a race against time.
I spent so much time trying to heal that I made myself sicker. I was so fixated on doing things my way that I seemed to miss the macro of most situations. I couldn’t see the full picture.
Last week, I was overwhelmed, but I didn’t know why. I resigned a lease, got a couple of cool jobs, and reconnected with some friends, but the sadness remained.
This all changed this past Sunday.
After mulling over the day, I discovered a small-time podcast. The guest was the teacher in the Special Education classroom I work in.
In this interview, he spoke of his spiritual journey and the day he made a choice to be a better man.
I don’t exactly align with all of his religious beliefs, but the message was clear: You have to do things for the universal spirit rather than self.
I knew my way wasn’t working, so this change was the only option.
Part 3
As of Monday morning, I’ve decided to try to live my life a little differently.
I’m trying to do the right thing rather than what’s best for me.
I just came back from an event that I had never been to before. I’m not going to name the outing in hopes of putting out a good image.
However, the most notable sign that I was on the right path was during a casual oil change. Everything seemed normal until the very end, when the mechanic informed me that I was two quarts low on oil and they’d taken care of it.
When I tried to pay, he told me there was no charge. I’m still confused about this.
The timing was impeccable and felt like a sign.
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