May 9, 2025
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HomeAuthorsPatrick McNerthney

Articles by Patrick McNerthney

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About Patrick McNerthney
Patrick McNerthney is a former President, Titan of Industry and general Society-Improver. He owns a business called Outcasting, which purportedly offers writing services, but is most likely a front for the illegal import and distribution of vacant hermit crab shells. Patrick aspires to own an NFL team and take over his block. He’s written four books: How to Break Out of Prison*, How to Cheat on Your Taxes*, How to Steal Your Neighbor’s Roof*, and The Future Will Not Involve Underwear**. *Not written yet **Not formatted or published yet
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National

Sports Bars Are Key To Our Future

June 17, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Sports Bars Are Key To Our Future

Aside from being great places to watch sports, drink beer, hide from spouses, kids, and other mundane responsibilities, then eventually, at the last possible moment, call an Uber to go home, sports bars are great […]

National

Sports Fans And Culinary Enthusiasts Are One And The Same

June 11, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Sports Fans And Culinary Enthusiasts Are One And The Same

The most important part of professional sports is the food. In fact, anthropological studies indicate that throughout human history, the progression of different ingredient combinations to create a given dish directly relates to our universal […]

Seattle Seahawks

In The Mix With Julio Jones

June 3, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on In The Mix With Julio Jones

There is this doctor for the Seattle Seahawks, and he’s really handsome. And nice. Like actually nice despite the fact that he drives a nice car. And has great hair, cut quite sharply. And his […]

National

Don’t Overlook The Marketing Capacity Of Playoff Hockey

May 27, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Don’t Overlook The Marketing Capacity Of Playoff Hockey

The Stanley Cup Playoffs are underway. I can tell because my friend, a Pittsburgh Penguins fan, made me come over and watch the third period of last Saturday’s game before we took our kids on […]

Outdoor Sports

If You Start Training Now, You’ll Be Ready By July 25th For The Seafair Triathlon

May 20, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on If You Start Training Now, You’ll Be Ready By July 25th For The Seafair Triathlon

The annual Seattle Summer Celebration known as Seafair, what with the boat races, partying, and general bedlam, is tomorrow, and you should get ready. What? Oh, it’s not tomorrow. Oops! Sorry about that. Apparently, it’s […]

National

Motorsports Directly Threaten The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Marketplace

May 13, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Motorsports Directly Threaten The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Marketplace

I used to work with a guy who always blathered on about this place called “Pacific Raceways.” Especially in the summer – as it turns out, most motorsports in Washington State need to take place […]

Outdoor Sports

Summertime Cycling Doesn’t Require Corporate Sponsorship

May 6, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Summertime Cycling Doesn’t Require Corporate Sponsorship

May is a great time to sell a boat. Or a bicycle. At least in the Pacific Northwest. Or buy one. Of each. This is because we great citizens of this great region know, with […]

Outdoor Sports

Gloria Steinem Can Fish Way Better Than You

April 29, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Gloria Steinem Can Fish Way Better Than You

The 2021 Trout Derby, put on by the Washington State Department of Fish & Wildlife (WDFW), opened last Saturday, April 24th. Ironically, I spent most of that day prepping my 12-foot, 1999 Olympian fiberglass boat […]

Outdoor Sports

Tennis Is All About Getting A Great Tan

April 23, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Tennis Is All About Getting A Great Tan

Tennis players are amazing athletes and amazing people. Just look at Rod Laver. Who is Rod Laver? I have no idea, but he had a Wilson tennis racket named after him, or possibly a pair […]

National

Bear Crawls Bolster National Security

April 16, 2021 Patrick McNerthney Comments Off on Bear Crawls Bolster National Security

When I was a freshman in high school my first class of the first semester was physical education (P.E.) at 7:45 a.m. Somehow, I drew the same short straw my sophomore year. How I envied […]

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