There are many methods of self-love, some simple, some obsolete. Some people may view self-care as selfish, but without it, we’re nothing. If you turn on the TV, you’ll see a gluten-free fad, a miracle pillow, or the classic Bowflex. But what really is self-love, and is it as complex as the word obsolete? Here are three modern tips to keep yourself vibrant and loving to all.
Forgot the Rest
First thing’s first, you are most important!
Many people put others before themselves because they think it is the right thing to do, stop it’s not!
Even though it may feel just you’re only hurting yourself.
Think of yourself as a phone. When you hit zero, you don’t work.
The only difference is we all take time to charge our phones, but not our bodies.
One example of this is giving away our free time to help others.
When you’re at the point where you know you need some zen-wa time, make it happen. Whether it’s sitting down for the new episode of “Bel-Air,” cracking open a Deschutes Fresh Haze IPA, or jamming out to the new Olivia Rodrigo song. Find your muse and do you.
When your battery’s in the red zone, you can’t help others.
Even if your Dad calls asking you how the remote works or your Mom wants to watch season 47 of “Dancing with the Stars,” set the boundary. Boundaries are empowering and allow both parties to grow.
It may feel hard at first, but you’re worth it.
Do you spend time around people you actually dig being around? That’s not saying you don’t love them or like them, but do you truly enjoy their presence?
Many people in our society surround themselves with others just to do so, not to enrich their lives.
“It is a comfort to the unfortunate to have had companions in woe.” (Christopher Marlowe)
In actuality, it’s probably better to spend time alone rather than with individuals who add no value to your life.
Did that sound harsh? Good.
It’s your experience, and you deserve the best.
Enriching relationships are essential to our well-being and are probably the most fundamental component of humanity beyond sex.
But it’s up to you to differentiate between who helps and hurts your vibe.
Our vibe is all we got.
Did the first two sections sound harsh to you? Good.
We’re meant to be here for others, but we can do so much more for the people we care about when we take care of ourselves first.
This interconnectedness is likely the reason we’re here. And the African philosophy of “Ubuntu” furthers this notion.
A person in alignment with an “Ubuntu” lifestyle displays the following “One with self-assurance who is open, available to others and affirms them.”
But in its totality, Ubuntu preaches community.
“Ubuntu comes from the realization that each and everyone’s life is deeply tied to the other and the CHOICE to use personal POWER to commit to the common good as opposed to creating isolated individual good.”
In other words, one love.