Once upon a time, the Blazers weren’t nice
They won plenty of games, but at what price?
On a nightly basis, they’d win, not fail
But just as frequently end up in jail
There was J.R. and Damon, and Kemp the once-hopper
And Sabas and Ruben, the Kobe-Stopper!
Don’t forget Sheed, and Scottie too
And ya boi Dale Davis…young fans ask, “Who?”
When the bad boys left, Bonzi included
Paul Allen cleaned shop, and then he alluded:
“This team will be great, but we’ll focus on pleasant
From here on forward, we’ll be effervescent
We’re bubbly and kind, and of course good to all
Oh wait, we should focus on basketball?
You mean Theo, Martell and Jarrett Jack…
Are constantly beat and never fight back?”
So then came a move that would really embolden
A town to feel good, ‘cause it drafted Greg Oden
With Roy and LaMarcus already on board
The ‘Ships on horizon, Rip City roared
Portland had changed, mixed elite and nice
Except one problem, knees paid the price
Oden and Roy, the curse you can’t fault ‘em
Blame it on Petrie or Bowie or Walton
Then came a lull, 2009
Scratch that, fast forward, move on, #LillardTime
Dame D.O.L.L.A., he had, four nice starters
But so it would be, they all were departers
LaMarcus and Robin, and Nic and Wes
They all were gone, but for the best
‘Cause now it’s become The Lillard Show
With CJ and Crabbe and Leonard..oh…
…
We’ve hit a point, once again you see,
History repeats, are we too nice to be…
Contenders really, when it matters the most?
Always haunted by Rip City’s ghost
What It All Means
The NBA trade deadline is nearing, and the Trail Blazers have plenty to figure out. The problem is that Rip Citizens regularly fall in love with their players, both unconditionally and illogically.
The current-day Blazers are one of the easiest groups in the Association to root for. Lillard is a superstar who markets himself as well as anyone; McCollum focuses on enhancing his community as much as his game; and this team takes a volunteered trip to San Diego every offseason to train and bond.
This is not your grandfather’s NBA squad—it’s your grandmother’s, even before you realize that Lillard’s mom and McCollum’s mom have become best friends since their small-ball, four-year sons joined forces in the quiet Pacific Northwest.
But Portland needs to get defensive. It must figure out how to utilize Evan Turner and put all curses and negative history behind it. As far as we are into the year, there’s no more making excuses for this group.
All that said, there will be those outside the Bay Area (and outside Portland) rooting for the Blazers if Portland somehow faces the Warriors in the second round of the playoffs again. There are also those who consider Leonard the good guy in DeMarcus Cousins’ #MouthguardGate drama, and many who would root for the demise of the Clippers in an LA-Rip City postseason faceoff.
This isn’t a squad dealing with controversy in the locker room or outside the arena. But then again, the above-listed scenarios are only relevant if the Blazers make the playoffs and prove that nice guys don’t always finish last.
