Happy Holidays! It’s family time! (It would be kind of fun if there was like a big clock tower in the center of each town that went off at like 5 o’clock every day and then a person in a nice suit came out of the tower and while reading from a scroll exclaimed, “It’s family time!”) Anyway, like it or not, you will have to talk to your family this holiday season. You will have to find some common things to talk to them about. With this being a sports site (that’s what they’ve told me), I thought it would be fun to try and help out any non-sports fans this holiday season. Here are some quick and easy talking points you can bring up in any conversation with a sports fan in your family.
Let’s start with basketball. The Los Angeles Lakers are very good. They have LeBron James and Anthony Davis. (There are other people on the team, but to be honest, I don’t even really know their names. I’m pretty sure there’s a guy named Bill?) Here’s a sentence you can say about the Lakers: “Boy, the Lakers sure do know how to put the ball in the basket. There has only been a few games where the other team put the ball in the basket more than they did! Fun fact, they play in Los Angeles!” See, it’s pretty easy!
We can do the same thing with the Portland Trail Blazers. They have not done that well that season, mostly due to a number of players being injured like Zach Collins and Jusurf Nurkic. But they could still rally and make the playoffs at the end of the year. You could say something like, “Oof. Tough start, for the Blazers, huh? My favorite player, number 33 Zach Collins, is out for a considerable amount of time. I watched a few episodes of Portlandia a couple of years ago. Cool show.” (Every single person from Portland has watched Portlandia at least once. It’s another easy conversation starter).
Ok, here are some quick facts about some famous basketball players to help you out for the holidays:
James Harden: He scores a lot of points.
Steph Curry: He broke his hand. Ouch.
Giannis Anteokounmpo: Cool name. Is good at everything.
Kawhi Leonard: Doesn’t talk a lot. Great at basketball, great as a meme.
Now let’s go to the NFL. The Baltimore Ravens are the best team in the league. Their quarterback, Lamar Jackson, is probably going to win the MVP. What makes this story interesting is that a fair amount of people thought he wouldn’t be a good quarterback in the NFL, and that he would be better as a receiver or a running back. You could say something like, “Hey, I think the Ravens have a good chance of winning the Super Bowl. I’ve said that every day since the beginning of the season. I was one of the few people who thought he would make it as a quarterback. I never thought he should switch to receiver or running back. In fact, I recently testified under oath that I’ve always believed that. I’m a very serious football fan. Touchdown!’ (A little insider tip, always end a sentence about football by saying, “Touchdown!” It’s a secret code we all use to prove that we know what we’re talking about).
For all of you Pacific Northwest folks, the Seattle Seahawks are also doing really well this year! They have a great chance of making the Super Bowl. A fun fact about them: they went 7-1 on the road this year. They’ve also played a bunch of close games. Almost all of their wins have been by less than a touchdown. Example sentence: “Hello everyone, I am a Seattle Seahawks fan. Can you believe they keep winning these close games? These playoffs sure are going to be exciting! Did you know that a seahawk almost exclusively eats fish?” (If you run of sports stuff to say, a fun fact about a bird is always a great idea. If there’s one thing I learned in college, it’s that people love birds).
Here are a few other NFL sentences you can incorporate into a conversation:
“Tom Brady is the oldest quarterback in the league. I know this because I am good at math.”
“Hey, can we please turn the music down? Thank you. I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m happy the Bills are going to the playoffs. That’s all.”
“It sure looks like the Bengals are going to end up with the number one pick in the 2020 draft. I hope they draft Joe Burrow, the Heisman winning quarterback from LSU. Anyway, I’m sorry you were let go from your job.”
“The 49ers are a team I am familiar with!”
Alright, I hope this was helpful. And I hope you learned a thing or two. I sure know I did. Did you know that the average lifespan for a seahawk is 30 years?